I apologize for not waking up at 3 AM to join in on your tradition of absolute madness. Yes, I know I’ve been an avid Black Friday shopper in the past but this year, I just wasn’t feeling it. I don’t want to buy DVDs for $1.99 or electric mixers for $39.99 with a $39.99 rebate.
This year, I don’t need crap that I will never use. Sorry BF, I’m just being honest with you. Sure, you have some pretty amazing deals but most of the crap on sale, I would never buy under normal circumstances. Like I said, I don’t need a $14 3 megapixel camera or a Snuggie on sale for $5. So stop teasing me with your advertisements and mega-deals. I don’t need them in my life.
So, Black Friday, this is why I did not participate in your ridiculous shenanigans this year.
…Okay maybe I should be a little more honest with you. The truth is I’m leaving you for someone else. Yes, that’s right, I’m leaving you for Cyber Monday. Cyber Monday and I just get along better. With CM, I don’t have to wake up at 3 AM. I don’t have to wait in lines, smell leftover turkey on people’s breaths, make impulse purchases. Because you know, Black Friday, you’re all about the impulse purchases. With Cyber Monday, I can take my time, scroll through the pages, and make sound-minded decisions. So all in all, we’re done.
Thanks for the memories,